nothing is certain; not for any of us.

I’m not shy about seeing a therapist. I find that guilt or shame based around such a thing is silly and, if for no other reason, other people might be more inclined to pursue it in order to help them in their own life if I’m open about how it impacts my own.

Therapy has become such a helpful and positive thing in my life. While I think I went for one specific reason, other things obviously manifest themselves that deserve and require attention. But that’s the beautiful part. That the ‘thing’ that you want to discuss really is only a door to a platter of issues, emotions, feelings and thoughts that want addressing.

It’s interesting that most people whom I’ve told about therapy also wholeheartedly endorse it, with “Everyone should go to therapy” becoming the typical response.

Continue reading

Posted in General, Health, Philosophical | Tagged , , , , , | Leave a comment

Break the cycles.

The concept of ‘new year’ and rebirth seems weird to celebrate in the early part of winter.  I find it more suitable for the spring when everything comes alive and is actually lush with life. However, like most, I still honor the concept of ending the calendar year on 12/31 by imbibing alcohol and spending time with friends or family each year.

This year has been brilliant awful beautiful amazing heartbreaking love-filled ugly sad joyous lesson-filled. For me, I took a wonderful tumble in learning when and how your emotions can positively (or negatively, as is most often the case) influence your outlook and participation in life. How to forgive greatly. How to let go of pain. How to embrace the uncertainty of where the next step will bubble up that you are supposed to walk upon.  How to give love and receive love and honor each love as its own. How to be less responsible for others and therefore owning up to the responsibility and power over myself. How to be less black and white, which is a constant opportunity for growth.

No, I wouldn’t change a thing about 2011. Like others that came before, and like many soon to follow, it was eye-opening. I cannot forget or erase what’s happened and wouldn’t want to. All the people that crossed my path have been amazing teachers that I’m lucky to have learned something from.

Continue reading

Posted in General, News | Tagged , , , , , , , , , , | Leave a comment

Happy Christmas.

Happy Christmas. Today was oddly unique, but in a weird, blessed kind of way. ‘Santa’ brought me my gifts via UPS this year, so there was less of a surprise this morning but still no-less exciting. This was the first time I’ve not been home for Christmas so I wanted to soak up the quiet and solitude that was gifted to me.

There was no drama. No drinking. No burdens. No obligations. It is joy. It is peace. I took a walk for a few hours along the lake and just soaked up the beautiful day and the myriad of people, young & old, who also ventured out to celebrate this day with a bit of fresh air and beauty.

Continue reading

Posted in General | Tagged , , , | Leave a comment

a great fire of sorts.

 

One of the new people I’ve met this year (and I’ll ashamedly admit have not hung out with enough) is Jeff and I was reading his blog this morning. This post in specific. And it rung true to me. Weirdly enough that I awoke from a dream wherein things of the past had returned, and it became less about the person and more about the companionship, laughter and love. That’s what I dreamed about. I know. I’m like a Selena Gomez song.

So it was comforting to realize that someone else felt that way and that Jeff could express it in a way that I would not be able to – with brevity, clarity and focus. My ramblings, as I’ve seen, can be a major downfall in that I’ve taught myself to overcommunicate. At times not saying anything in doing so though.

It’s snowing today and I’d be lying if I said I didn’t love it. It feels right. It feels perfect. It matches everything. Insert giant hand circling motion to indicate ‘everything.’

Continue reading

Posted in General | Tagged , , , , , , , , , , , | Leave a comment

someone like you

 

You changed my life. In ways I still discover. And I’ve learned that I’m not bitter about it anymore. But I’m proud. Proud of us both. For the happiness that we did share. The goodness we could tap into. The ability you had to allow me to open up and love in a way I never did before.

I’ve stopped beating myself up. For being a shit. For rushing. For screwing up. For running my mouth. For being cold. For being silent and distant. I’m forgiving us both for just being human and fumbling through things that every other normal person fumbles through. We didn’t have to be perfect, but I think we expected to be.

There’s probably not a day that will go by that I won’t love you or imagine.

Thank you, thank you, thank you, thank you. For breathing life into me in a way I couldn’t have done alone.

Posted in Philosophical | Tagged , | Comments Off