This weekend I watched a documentary about Leigh Bowery, who was truly one of the most iconic people in the performance art scene in the UK in the late 80s and early 90s. How did I hear about Bowery? Lady Gaga had been compared to him, that what she was doing was really no different than what he did. And this comparison was fairly accurate. Bowery had a wild imagination, fusing opulence with a dirty underbelly of macabre that was made evident not only in his fashion, but in his art as well, whether as a living art installment, a musical act or dancer.

It’s clear that Bowery has influenced Gaga, as well as the likes of designers Pugh and the late Alexander McQueen. But am I surprised? No. Art is nothing but imitation of something else that’s already been done.

Art inspires a love or hate response from the viewer and (hopefully, as is the intent of all artists I daresay) elicits an artistic expression in response. Art begets art, in theory. People like Bowery did what they did in order to push people’s buttons and allow themselves to fully play in the world in which we live, outside of the constraints – both social and moral – that we silently abide by.

Bowery pushed the boundaries of imagination to allow freedom, a theme further cemented by the likes of Madonna (to a tamer, lesser, more mainstream degree) and ultimately of Gaga (to a mainstream degree, but more in line with the outlandish outfits and performances that had the hint of darkness). However, when pushing these lines to the extreme, people often ostracize themselves and become untouchable on a human level. And the amount of energy to constantly be innovative and daring and outspoken certainly takes its toll. Bowery seemed lonely and never had a ‘true love,’ of his life.

All humans seek out the need to shine because we all want attention. We all want to be loved and adored and have people think that what we do or say or wear is just totally cool. Out of fear of being this ostracized figure, we conform to a degree so as to fit in with society and allow us to be liked by a myriad of people. Isn’t the goal to be hated by the least amount of people as possible? I think so.

The documentary made me more aware of the fragility of people who overextend their creativity to such gigantic proportions. While you can turn it up to ‘11′ and wow everyone, there has to be the other side of the coin where you represent the minuscule, introverted self as well. Life is balance and while the grandness of Gaga is refreshing in a society and world that is currently devoid of imagination, of creativity, of daring and of risk, I’m not sure how much longer she can keep up this game.

But I also think of Gaga and her age. All 20 somethings spend that decade in their life really pushing boundaries of their personal comfort, figuring out who they are so as to be really comfortable in their own skin. Whether in the public eye or not, it’s something everyone does. But eventually, we all quiet down. You reach a point where simplicity in life is more elusive and desirable than drunken nights, crazy stories and over the top behavior. And that is the point when you stop proving yourself to others for the sake of their love and realize that you love yourself, regardless of what you do with your life.

That moment is bliss.

Why the hell did Tiger woods bother coming out today to apologize for being a philandering A-hole? Was there a point to any of it? I mean, the damage is done – not only in the eyes of the media and general public, but especially within his family. What do words mean when it turns out you’ve been a liar for so long?

Once you reach a point where lie and are found out, you are screwed. People do not trust you from that point forward. Your words have no weight, no bearing, no validity. It’s hard to overcome that and it takes a lot of time. But we all can relate because nobody’s perfect.

People make mistakes everyday and are led into temptation. Hell, I’ve been known to throw lighter fluid on a problem and dance in the flames. To say you haven’t is to be a hypocrite and a liar. Or you’re a cyborg and I don’t trust you anyway.

While Tiger delivered his well-poised message, the media were housed in a completely different location. One commentator made the point that Tiger should have just sent out a video on Youtube.com. No kidding. I can understand your reluctance to take questions from a brutal media, especially because it’s nobody’s business, but the longer you avoid them, the longer they will try to get you to answer them. Especially when the announcement comes after your return from ‘rehab.’ Oh, rehab. That’s another topic altogether. Next time I need a nap, I’m claiming ‘exhaustion’ and going to rehab. I digress.

During Tiger’s self-imposed isolation, countless women stepped forward to report illicit affairs, sexual liaisons, potential illegitimate children and all the details in between. It’s been a mess that no PR person would dream of touching – because no matter the amount of dollars he would have offered, it’s a stigma to represent someone that leaves everyone feeling icky.

Lesson: When will people think that popularity and power protects them? It’s the same type of problem with those CEOs who embezzle money from consumers and their own employees. Is it a rush of power to think you can do something so insane and not ever get caught? Maybe they think if they are caught, the repercussions won’t be so terrible. Maybe it’s a twisted way to get out of the ‘You’re perfect’ spotlight.

I feel sorry for his children and their mother. I feel sorry for lovers of the game that rallied behind this man. Thinking about the amount of money spent or wasted on him in advertising dollars is just silly. And no, I don’t feel sorry for the advertisers either. Sometimes it’s their fault in creating the public perception that these celebrities are gods. Nope, just mere mortals. Always fallible, which is the ignorance is bliss standpoint of sponsors.

Talent doesn’t compensate for complete idiocy. Success is not a formula. You can’t understand or add up all the things that can bring you success. But failure – you certainly can. Tiger Woods can pinpoint every decision he’s made in the last year or more that have led to this point. He was aware of the consequences but decided to remain oblivious to them. Well, you reap what you sow.

Agency life is different. It’s a little more loosey-goosey, in that you pretty much do whatever it takes to get the work done in order to get your paycheck. The hours are long, the work is mostly thankless, the tasks get distributed evenly in a very egalitarian style (or at least they should – I’ve experienced some Divas who thought that because they had a Blackberry, they could be absent from work and never help out – they got the boot eventually). Agencies thrive on individualism, on a ‘battle of the wills’ mentality that you want to prove everyone wrong and turn out spectacular work that ‘Wows’ everyone.

Corporate life is a bureaucratic oddity. The number of people handling any given task is ridiculous, but it’s all about processes, streamlining and running efficiently. I can appreciate that goal, but sometimes the cure is worse than the disease. Companies in the past year have seen that they were overstaffed, overcomplicated in the layering of processes and relying heavily on human ability vs automation which means there’s plenty of room for error. And that individualism I was talking about before? Nah, they can do without that. Please just fall in line and conform. Thank you for your cooperation.

It’s not all bad. Corporate has its perks over agency. Pay is better. Benefits are better because there’s so many more people. Sometimes it pays to have the slowness of corporate decision making, saving you from error and humiliation (sometimes not – remind me to tell you about a goof with an annual report…yipe!).

Sometimes it can feel stifling. Not being able to just run with ideas or experiment and try new things but instead being relegated to doing the same old, same old for years on end just because “that’s what’s been done” as if that’s a good reason for doing anything in the first place.

Ho-hum. It’s all work, though isn’t it? That’s why it’s not called ‘play.’ But if you can find a job that allows you to play and get paid for it, then you need to call me immediately and share the wealth. In the meantime, I’ll toil away and keeping rocking the boat, pushing buttons, giving unsolicited ideas and pressing my luck.

What else would I be doing anyways?

Let me rephrase. It’s not that I’m incapable of being unprofessional, I just don’t play by the rules. My hair is large like Luke Perry from Beverly Hills 90210. I wear neon color dress shirts. People in a corporate environment are equally confused and delighted by my presence. As in any other facet of my life, I’m either adored or loathed. There’s not a lot of middle ground for me. Nor should there be, because I don’t live in the middle ground.

I am extremes. I am liberation. I am isolation. I am the person who says what comes to my mind and communicate in a way that captivates people. The people that get the tongue-in-cheek delivery, understand that I’m not the most hard-hearted bastard that ever lived. But it’s a facet. It’s my humor.

My life is my humor. I think I tried to suppress that for this website in hopes that I would get clients to find me and respect me. Nonsense. If anything, I’ll be hired and work for people who get the energy, the laughter, the drive for perfection and success that underlies all the other messaging that people may see. I’m nothing if not diligent and self-aware. Most importantly, I will laugh at myself when I am a complete and utter moron and proverbially fall on my ass. If you can’t, we probably don’t have much in common.

As a client, I realize that you may not have the freedom to spend a budget and it fail and laugh your way out of being terminated. That’s why I say that I recognize the need to find vibrance that fits into spectrum of vision for your organization.

So I’m going to post more often. Be ready for opinions, radical and conservative. Be ready for laughter. Be ready for poise. Be ready for anything.

Needless to say, it was exhausting. Not physically exhausting, but one of those emotionally exhausting tasks because there was the need to be ‘on,’ to be funny, to be smart and to keep a dialogue open with other followers, especially because they were new.

At my day job, I just helped implement a full social networking strategy for our B2B company. Such a venture for B2B is a bit bizarre – because we don’t sell directly to clients or customers, and work in a highly regulated industry, it’s a challenge to find out what content is relative and appropriate to share with our target audience(s). We don’t get to do the cool coupons, the enticing prize drawings in exchange for lead information, or really get to talk about our products because each state has their own rules and regulations about how we advertise.

Regardless, we are going to give Facebook and Twitter a go and see what type of audience we have out there that may be participating in social communities already. A preliminary search led to a small group of individuals who we could have guessed to be ‘cutting edge,’ however, the majority of our audience is an older generation and part of a large community that doesn’t adopt or implement such technological advances quite so easily as my peer group.

So what do we have to say or do? Well, instead of being product focused, we’re making it more about brand awareness and using each little ‘kiosk’ as an avenue back to our full-fledged website that gives everyone all the information they need. We currently manage a blog and communication center on this website, hosting sales ideas, important product news, or industry based news and links to current information. These blogs are then posted to Twitter as links and we update our FB fan page accordingly.

While many of our competitors have not ventured into this area of social media, we decided that it’s best that we show up and take part of the ‘conversation’ vs sitting it out and not taking advantage of the opportunity we may have to spread our brand, our story and our USP.

Individuals have been using social networking for numerous personal reasons but true business applications have been hard to imagine – more so as to how to generate actual revenue from such outlets. My belief is that social media allows business to grow its audience beyond what it imagines to be its target demographic – you reach many more people (for free) by using these tools and allow people who like your brand to become an ambassador, spreading the word for you.

And word of mouth is power. No matter the amount of money in a marketing machine, word of mouth can still bring a powerhouse to its knees. As was with the Grammys last night, Lady Gaga rebuilt the brand of pop behemoth this year through social media – creating a direct connect between artists and fan. While someone like Beyonce, who is more private in terms of personal life, opts for more traditional and straightforward channels toward her audience. While both had massive years, Gaga truly blew up in 2009 as a result of her cross-platformed approach by being technologically savvy  and ahead of the pack.

Returns for traditional businesses are harder to track than record sales, but the goal is the same – to revolutionize the way we use marketing and to think outside of the traditional formula of money equaling success when it comes to advertising and marketing revenue.

Humility, grace, laughter, goodwill, patience, faith and equanimity. This last term is truly been one I’ve been making my mantra for the last year or more. Finding peace, finding myself less reactionary to life (read as: less freaking out in response to life’s stimuli).

What do I hope to achieve in this year? I’d like to do more freelance/consulting work. I’m going to have 10 clients this year. I’m going to continue to bring fresh, innovative ideas to my current position and explore the possibilities for growth within the ‘family’ I’ve been part of for the last couple of years.

I’m going to continue to feed my body with positive energy and healthy foods that further push me into a space of peace/happiness/enlightenment/call-it-what-you-may. I’m going to run in a marathon this year. I’m going to explore my creative writing and do more painting. I want to further my practice of yoga and pilates.

I will commit to being present in relationships and stepping up to the proverbial plate. I will further network and meet inspiring people and learn things from more individuals this year. I am going to read more books. I’m going to learn French.

Things that have helped me in my life that I wholeheartedly recommend:

Debbie Ford’s The Right Questions and The Dark Side of the Light Chasers.

Dr. Joel Fuhrman’s Eat to Live.

Neko Case’s Middle Cyclone.

This is my theme for 2010, take a listen: Come To Me (Peace)

This time last year I realized my weight/eating issues (or let’s call a spade a spade and say it was an eating disorder) had reached a point where I was out of control. It was time for a change. I read Dr. Joel Fuhrman’s book Eat To Live and it basically made me rethink everything I was putting into my body. It was less about weight loss and more about making a difference in my food choices that would not only change my health, but my entire life.

It wasn’t a ‘diet,’ it was a lifestyle change. Truly, it was difficult but I could tell the difference in my physical appearance but also in my overall mood. Less junk and more natural choices made me feel healthier and better overall. To date I’ve lost 30lbs. No, I wasn’t overweight before but there was just excess baggage (emotionally as well, which manifested itself in a unhealthy relationship with food) that was doing me no favors. This journey isn’t over and I am amazed and proud that I reached this point.

I’ve given myself over to the passion for running that has come to me ‘later’ in life, having never ran before the age of 22 or so. It’s become a major teacher and a major litmus test for myself in what I can do.

While working on my own self, I can’t help but acknowledge that over the last year many new people came into my life. Some aren’t here that were this time last year. But I’ve come to realize that you can’t get hung up in the ebb and flow of people within your life. If people want to go, let them. If you want people around, open yourself up to them. It’s as simple and complicated as that.

I have to thank all the people who’ve been teachers to me this last year. Whether the time was amazing or amazingly challenging, it was all for a purpose. Some friendships have been rekindled and for that I am absolutely thrilled. Some have fizzled out without anyone to blame – and for those people, I still find love within myself for you. Some friendships were never meant to work and that’s okay.

The course of the last year has had me push my personal boundaries as far as having social anxiety. I feel more free and more comfortable in my skin than I have in years past and I cherish the new people and new experiences that I have and will continue to have on a personal level, whether in terms of friendships or even in relationships.

Speaking of new experiences, let’s talk about this website. Since December of last year, this website was a place where I talked and talked and talked about everything – life, work, music, entertainment, etc. I decided that while I could put my heart on my sleeve in real life and on this blog, I wanted to commit to living more in the present – away from the blog. As well, I wanted to take a chance to branch out and take the passion I have for writing in conjunction with my crazy imagination and use it for freelance or consulting opportunities wherein I can assist other people in enhancing their voice, their visions. Collaboration is truly my goal in 2010. Not only professionally, but personally as well. I believe that nothing I do on my own can’t be made better by someone else’s input and vice versa.

2009 – What a year to start such a venture, right? While the financial world went topsy turvy this year, many people found themselves out of work, found themselves struggling to make it. I am grateful and thankful to have the stability of my current position and I figured that in such a time, when many people don’t have the budgets or the resources to bring their visions to fruition, why not take this chance to offer myself up?

I look for inspiration and want to be inspired all the time. I want to commit fully to something I love and am constantly looking for things to pour myself into. So why should this be any different? 2010 is going to be a major year professionally. Has it ever been wrong to just keep asking for more?

Maybe you’re asking yourself, “Why is this post entitled ‘The Fame Monster?’” First, I wanted to finally admit my appreciation for Lady Gaga…yes, finally. I wasn’t sold on her for a long while and over time her creativity, passion, intelligence, wit and musicianship won me over. She’s shaking the foundation of what we all expect in entertainment and performance, mashing message into art into meaningless artifice. The breaking of rules and boundaries is truly what I am enamored with. I also enjoy the message that when you stick to your guns and just pursue being yourself, you do carve out a niche for yourself in the world. And again, none of us are islands unto ourselves.

The other reason for the title had to do with the theme of Gaga’s latest album. In interviews, she’s revealed that the inspiration was to come to terms with all her fears. Well, at year’s end isn’t that essentially what everyone does when making a New Year’s resolution? You make a commitment to overcome something in your life that you’ve not yet faced head on. You look toward a brand new start, with brand new confidence, brand new resolve, brand new wisdom and brand new faith. In this next year, I will face my own ‘monsters.’ I’m ready to continue this journey of redefining and reconstructing myself.

So, I have only one thing left to say: Show me your teeth.

With the venue built, I was ready to unleash a plethora of words upon the world, hoping that some would be inspiring, others would incite laughter, a few would be eye-opening and most, of course, would go unnoticed into the world.

First off – for anyone who says blogging isn’t a challenge unto itself, they haven’t done it.  It is certainly requires more work than one would think. If your goal is to attain millions of hits, you must provide interesting and captivating new content on a consistent basis that can be devoured by the masses.

I never started blogging as a means to gain notoriety or anything like that. I was writing before the term ‘emo’ was ever even coined – from stream of consciousness style a la Virginia Woolf, to really shitty poetry, to songs with basic piano chord progressions and later with basic guitar progressions, to letters to publications or congressional representatives. No matter what the mode, writing has become a staple of my existence. It’s my way of working through any thought or emotion in my life.

Now over the last year I surely hosted my share of pity parties and emotional breakdowns in this space but have recently been more focused on providing a positive space for people to touch base with. To see the struggle pulled apart and turned into a path for victory.

As I started to recreate justinyourmind.com with Brandon Quigley, another friend who is also an insanely talented graphic designer and web guru, I knew I wanted to focus more on how I can utilize my ability and talent and skill to help others find success within their own lives and businesses.

But what did that mean for the blog? Well, what once were random diatribes with occasional videos and songs are now going to be more editorial in nature. Monthly essays or notes on relevant topics to my business, my life, my friends, my society – that’s what this space will contain.

Essentially I want to take the micro events of my life and see how those lessons are mirrored in the macro of the world at large. The thing about blogs is that they all point to one simple truth – we’re all more alike than we’ll ever really know. Anthropologists will look back on all these documented lives to paint a picture of what life was like as a whole during this time. I just hope that they’ll take into account that there was more going on than Lady Gaga’s hermaphroditic rumors, Miley’s Vanity Fair pics and the Jon & Kate Plus 8 debacle.

Hopefully those who look back to this time will see that each of us strives to be a success in our own way, that we’re all in a time where we’re given the power to have a voice and while I feel we’re caught up in the illusion that these platforms afford each of us a right to ‘celebrity’ status, hopefully they’ll see that we realized the power of our ‘I’m talking’ mentality was no match for our ‘I’m listening’ one.

Please feel free to share what’s on your mind. I’m listening.