Happy Christmas. Today was oddly unique, but in a weird, blessed kind of way. ‘Santa’ brought me my gifts via UPS this year, so there was less of a surprise this morning but still no-less exciting. This was the first time I’ve not been home for Christmas so I wanted to soak up the quiet and solitude that was gifted to me.
There was no drama. No drinking. No burdens. No obligations. It is joy. It is peace. I took a walk for a few hours along the lake and just soaked up the beautiful day and the myriad of people, young & old, who also ventured out to celebrate this day with a bit of fresh air and beauty.
In my walk, I realized that 2011 has been a year of growth and stumbling that 2010 was not, which I’ve alluded to before. But I’ve realized that going forward, I’m letting go of all the hangups, the pain, the regret that I’d been holding onto. I’d kept it because I didn’t know better or want better. But now I do.
It’s time to move on. It’s time to let down the guard. It’s time to be open. Everything I want, everything I need, everything I desire, everything I dream about is, in fact, standing in front of me. The world is at my doorstep. And I’m ready to step out again.
So many more things to become better at in the new year and so many things I want to focus on for me. The search is less about anyone else and more about seeing what sparks me, for better or worse. No more stagnancy. More commitment to adventure, more commitment to lack of control, more commitment toward things that take me in the direction I want to go.
I have no idea what this year will bring but I know I need to be pedaling. These things I want – they are achievable, they are doable. Baby steps. This year is going to be about baby steps toward bigger life-long change. Being honest. Being upfront. Being accountable and being responsible. Being present and being powerful, yet mindful. Being empathetic, being reachable, being tuned in. Being unafraid of failure or success. Being unafraid of saying what it is I want and moving on if it’s not possible.
Sticking by my side.
No related posts.