A dream.

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Had a dream and woke up. Cried. Then it just had to be said. If you think it’s about you, it probably is.

 

Image courtesy Saddo/Flickr.

The unfinished story.

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I keep coming back to this song.

Something about this is a reminder that grudges are nothing but a waste of time and feeling. Also a flag that you will always have a new perspective on people, events, places as you get older. And I see how the things you carry begin to shift their place and weight within your being as you age. Pain lessons, love deepens, awareness widens.

Nothing is ever predictable. And you will always have a new perspective on love, whether new or old.

People have to go on journeys. Some journeys start alone. Sometimes they start with another person. Sometimes people only start journeys after they part ways from another. Despite the cause, the journey is necessary.

And you never get to go back to who you were before.

And the wisdom with age is that over time, you’re glad you won’t go back. Because what you went through gave you so much more.

Hell may be other people, but nothing enriches your experience more than the wisdom, approach, attitude and spirit of other people – no matter the length of time they spend with you in your own narrative.

Photo courtesy Oliva Bee/Flickr.

Hearts and bones.

Everyone wants a legacy. A feeling that others can intangibly recall immediately upon the mere mention of a name. Preferably for the best, but the thing about a legacy is that one usually loses control of it over time. Funny, isn’t it? That so much time goes into building a memory. Capturing it is one thing, but creating a memory for the sake of something to remember is quite another.

The crafting of a memory for the sake of others to hold onto. What a futile task we can’t seem to break ourselves of.

I’m coming back to defining individual purpose. Having tried to hold the mirror up and ask myself what it is I want to do with my life/what I want to be/what I want my life to mean, I get more aware of my own definition of what is a ‘good’ life.

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Great things are falling into place in my life and to say that I am excited is an understatement. I am in a stride that’s paced just right. Sometimes you need escapism to affirm what you want out of life and where you want to be. Comparison is deadly but necessary. If I only had cheeseburgers all my life, I’d miss out on what it was like to have steak. So sometimes you need steak. And if you were raised on steak, you sometimes need shitty ground chuck in a taco shell to remind me how good you’ve got it.

Did I just make a metaphor using beef? Wow.

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The point is sometimes hard to nail down. No matter the angle from which I’m hammering.

Concessions. Those you want to make and those you can’t overlook that consume you.

I have my own unbearable traits that cannot be swallowed. And then there are the parts that I serve on a platter knowing others cannot stop themselves from gobbling it up.

The switch is mine to flip or break.

I’m just happy right now.